I took today as a fast day; something I haven’t done in a long time and generally reserve for Mondays. My body is insisting that I give it rest, open my receptors and follow its instruction, which I'm praying will be clear (it has never not been clear, but human foolishness being what it is...). I feel small waves of trepidation about this but I know from experience that this is the way. So I sit here with my slow careful breathing, nervous mind and soft determination. I am also doing what I am calling Center Peace Practice; bringing my attention to my solar plexus, the 3rd chakra field just above my navel. For the next few months I'm focusing particularly on the energy of curiousity and openess to discovery. Asking myself in every situation, "What can I learn here? What is this trying to teach me?"
Yesterday I was captured by the quote: “If flowers can teach themselves how to bloom after winter passes, so can you.” I feel like that today. Like I can learn new ways to bloom; faster, more efficient, quantum ways to grow myself. I can sense at the cellular level that there are aspects of myself that when I learn to harness and bring them forth, I will be even more secure, expansive and radiant, to both myself and in all of the ways I reflect in the world. But for now, sitting here on the sofa, slowly following my less-than- steady breathing and preparing to study ceremony and ritual, I wonder if flowers ever feel anxious when their delicate parts are unfurling.