I am here in obedience to Spirit. Had I not been so instructed by the Creator’s insistence I would probably be beading, eating cashew yogurt, executing elaborate but meaningless internet searches or possibly cooking. Which is to say absolutely anything other than writing. And I would be doing this dance of avoidance because like any other thing we evade with all the spectacular tools of our cunning, writing is the place that reveals and heals me. The place I most need to enter to access the essential questions and answers of my life. But at 42 I have also learned that resistance – long term, protracted resistance - is not only futile but dangerous to my body, mind, spirit and experience. For this reason I am here at my dining room table, fingers on these keys (which really feels like toes on the edge of Vesuvius) without one clue about what I’m supposed to be doing or saying and the scariest unknown of all; where this all will take me. Because….me.
Which reminds me of another thing I’ve been avoiding; tying myself with Nebula. Today I will do both; publish these words and re-calibrate my center with a strand that encourages and reminds me about the power of curiosity and the transformative magic of unexpected discovery. I will dust off my lessons on beginners mind and begin again and again and again starting today, and see what happens.